Sunday 18 March 2012

FGC2012 #6 Life's a Drag

1. INT. EMPTY HALLWAY- MORNING

There is the distinct sound of someone throwing up being heard. A door halfway down the hall opens. JEDA MORTENSON, average appearance mid-twenties steps into the hallway wearing only an oversized T-shirt and boyleg briefs. Her hair is tousled and last nights eye make-up has spread around her eyes. She knocks gently on the door across the hall. She is responded to by another loud vomit.
                    
               JEDA
       Rueben? Are you OK.

               RUEBEN
       Yes.

Rueben continues to vomit.

                 JEDA
       Can I get you anything.

Jeda opens the door a crack to see RUEBEN MORTENSON, an attractive early twenties male curled on the floor with his head on the edge of the bathtub with one arm hanging in the tub.

                RUEBEN
        Can you get me a time machine so I can tell the
       me last night that though tequila shots was a good
       idea that it IS NOT!

                JEDA
      Yeah sure I’ll just pull one of those out my ass for ya.

Rueben swishes his arm around in the tub.

              JEDA (CONT’D)
        What are you doing?

              RUEBEN
       The chunks got stuck in the drain...

Jeda runs to the basin on the other side of the bathroom and empties the contents of her own stomach.

             JEDA
      You are an evil man.

ANAROSA MENDEZ, a plump short mid forties Spanish woman appears at the door.

            ANAROSA
     Not again senor Rueben and senorita Jeda.
     Why you do this? You leave me clean it up.

             RUEBEN
      (Clicks his fingers and laughs)
      Bitch please. We pay you to clean.

            JEDA
       (Jokingly)
      Rueben mind your bloody manners. Forgive him Anarosa.

               ANAROSA
       (Continuing the joke)
        I forgive him every Saturday and Sunday and he bitch
        please me again the next week. I no know why I work for you.

Anarosa storms out in a huff.

             RUEBEN
       That’s funny I don’t remember eating corn.

               JEDA
        Rueben your filth.

Jeda lifts her head from the basin and looks in the mirror. Her hair and make up are a mess and she now has vomit on her chin.

             JEDA (CONT’D)
        How am I still single Rueben.

                 RUEBEN
         Because you’re a ho.

Jeda laughs and throws a face washer at him. Anarosa re-enters with a handsome toned gentleman wearing only his boyleg briefs.

                    ANAROSA
        I find this wandering the hall. I no know who it belong to.

                      RUEBEN
         That’s mine.

Jeda looks the new member of the room up and down.

                     RUEBEN (CONT’D)
         This is Elliot. Elliot that’s Jeda and Anarosa.

Rueben squeezes some toothpaste on his finger and shoves it in his mouth before disappearing out the door with his gentleman. Jeda and Anarosa poke their heads out the door and perve on the visitor as Rueben leads him away.

                  ANAROSA
             If I were your age sweetheart I would climb that hunk of man and...

                        JEDA
              Anarosa stop it he’s gay.

                       ANAROSA
             No he no gay.

                       JEDA
             What do you think he spent the night in my brothers
             room doing? Playing boardgames?

                      ANAROSA
           Yes.

2. INT. LIVING ROOM- AFTERNOON

Jeda is flicking through a fashion magazine and Rueben comes up behind her.

                 RUEBEN
            Oh honey you would never pull that off.

He leans over and points to the photo. She grabs his hand and flips him over the couch.

                     JEDA
            Unlike you who would pull anything off.

                      RUEBEN
            You know it.

Anarosa enters the living room with a basket of laundry.

                          ANAROSA
            You two need keep clothes sperate. I no know who stuff is who.

She puts the basket down and holds up a dress looking questioningly at Jeda.

                          RUEBEN
            Nope that’s mine.

Anarosa holds up a football jersey looking at Rueben.

                             JEDA
                Nope that’s mine.

                            ANAROSA
               Dios Mio. You two drive me loco.

The two of them laugh.

                              RUEBEN
                 (Sweetly)
                Anarosa.

                           ANAROSA
                   Si Senor.

                          RUEBEN
                     What’s for dinner?

                          ANAROSA
                   Stick on a shit.

Rueben and Jeda crack up laughing.

3. INT. HALLWAY- NIGHT TIME

Starting from the floor the camera pans slowly up over a set of heels toned legs the bottom of a dress.

                             JEDA (O.S.)
                  Are you wearing that?

                           RUEBEN (O.S.)
                 Are you wearing that?

                            JEDA & RUEBEN
                     Yes... And?

Camera pans up to see Rueben is the one wearing the dress. The two of them laugh.

                              JEDA
                     Let’s go find me a man.

4. EXT. NIGHTCLUB- EVENING

Rueben and Elliot are holding hands and Jeda is further up the line. Three guys approach Rueben and Elliot.

                               GUY 1
                    Hey faggots.

                             RUEBEN
                    Bitch please their ain’t no faggots here.

Guy 1 pushes Rueben.

                             ELLIOT
                     Let’s just walk away.

Elliot is held back by Guy 2. Guy 3 punches Rueben in the face. Jeda notices what is going on and fights the crowd to get back to them. Guy 1 & 2 have pushed Rueben to the ground and are kicking him.

                                GUY 1
                    There’s no room for pooftas in this town.

Jeda launches herself throw the air and lands on guy ones back while laying into him with her fist.

                                 JEDA
                   You’re the only poofta around her.

He pulls her off him and throws her to the ground. She kicks up and hits him in the groin.

5. INT. LOUNGE ROOM- MORNING

Rueben is sitting on the couch bandaged and a bruised Jeda sits in the arm chair watching him.

                             RUEBEN
                      Bitch please stop staring at me.

Anarosa enters with some soft drink on a tray.

                                ANAROSA
                     You want anything else Senor Rueben.

                                 RUEBEN
                     What’s for dinner?

                              ANAROSA
                    Table under a duck.

                                JEDA
                    I think it’s duck under the table.
   
                             ANAROSA
                    How you eat it under the table?

                             RUEBEN
                    How about a cookie?

                             ANAROSA
                     Si senor.

Anarosa exits. Rueben looks over to see Jeda still staring at him.

                              RUEBEN
                    You are creeping me out.
  
                               JEDA
                     I don’t ever want to lose you.

                                RUEBEN
                    Nothing’s ever going to happen with you as my bodyguard.

                                  JEDA
                    Bodyguard?!

                                   RUEBEN
                     Yeah you kicked the crap out of that guy.

                                     JEDA
                     Mum always used to say our genders got mixed up.

                                       RUEBEN
                       It’s only mixed up according to society.

                                       JEDA
                          It’s so shit. They should go to jail for what they did.
                          It’s not fair that people treat you like that because...

                                         RUEBEN
                          Because...?

                                       JEDA
                         Well you know.

                                     RUEBEN
                          Because I’m so gay I piss glitter. I cop it all the time sis.

                                     JEDA
                         Well it’s gay... I mean...
 
                                    RUEBEN
                          You’re gay.

                                  JEDA
                          No you’re gay.

                              RUEBEN
                         Yes I am.

6. INT. LIVING ROOM- AFTERNOON

Rueben is propped up by pillows on the couch. Jeda enters from the hallway.

                                JEDA
                        Hey Rueben is it OK if I borrow that pink dress of yours?

                                RUEBEN
                      I don’t have any pink dresses.

                                 JEDA
                       Yeah you do.
                         
                                RUEBEN
                      No I don’t. But I do have a salmon halterneck,
                     a fuschia spaghetti strap, that magenta strapless, the
                     coral A-line, ooh and that cerise gown and my favorite 
                     rose slinky number. But honey you couldn’t pull that off.

                                  JEDA
                      Um... I think the magenta strapless.

Jeda turns to leave but turns back.
                    
                                 JEDA (CONT’D)
                     Will you be okay alone if I go out?

                                   RUEBEN
                     Oh darling I won’t be alone.

                                   ANAROSA (O.S.)
                    Oh Senorita Jeda your man candy is here.

She enters with an attractive male.

                                    RUEBEN
                      No Anarosa that one is mine.

                                     JEDA
                      I don’t get how you can be so upbeat.

                                    RUEBEN
                    Well honey I look at it this way life can be a big drag,
                     but I’m a bigger one. Aaaah haaa!!!

7. INT. LIVING ROOM- AFTERNOON

Rueben is now joined by Elliot on the couch and Jeda re-enters in a pink dress.

                                        ELLIOT
                    Wow honey that looks stunning.

                                        JEDA
                     Why can’t you talk nice like that to me Rueben.

                                         RUEBEN
                      Because I’m your brother and that’s weird.

Jeda turns to head towards the door and the heels she is wearing catch on each other and cause her to fall face first to the ground.

                                          RUEBEN (CONT’D)
                        Why don’t you just wear jeans and sneakers.

                                        JEDA
                         I have a date.

                                      RUEBEN & ELLIOT
                            Oooooh.

                                       JEDA
                           Ha ha you two behave while I’m gone.

                                          RUEBEN
                          Fat chance of that.

Jeda leaves and Anarosa enters with drinks and a bowl of chips.

                                           ANAROSA
                          Senor Rueben you must stop teasing me with
                          such beautiful men.

                                              RUEBEN
                           Anarosa he’s gay.

                                              ANAROSA
                            No, no, no.

The two boys kiss and Anarosa’s jaw drops.

                                              RUEBEN
                            Don’t be upset.

                                           ANAROSA
                             I no upset. You think your dresses and
                             shoes no give you away. Just like your
                             lesbian sister so obvious.

                                            RUEBEN
                              Jeda’s not gay.

                                             ANAROSA
                              But she no straight senor. She defend you so much
                              because she get the same treatment.

                                               RUEBEN
                             Why wouldn’t she say something?

                                               ANAROSA
                              After you take off after your parents die she no trust anyone.

Rueben picks up his phone and dials.

                                              RUEBEN
                                Hey sis. Sorry I been a dick lately.

He talks for a moment and hangs up.

                                                    ELLIOT
                                 What did she say?

                                                  RUEBEN
                                  She told me to put the bin out.

                                                  ELLIOT
                                  And...?

                                                 RUEBEN
                                  That she was planning on getting lucky so to not wait up.


The Challenge to write a Comedy in 1500 words
form open

Word count 1488

7 comments:

  1. Seems there were a few of us that had some commentary on homophobia this week. Nicely done. I love both Rueben and Jeda.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I also noticed the homophobia theme this week. :D
      Thank you for your compliements.

      Delete
  2. Very nicely done! Had me laughing all the way through! I love those two as well, and the comedy is done very nicely, probably my favourite entry this week!

    The script styling of it is nicely done, makes a great use of the word count. It did kinda give me a bit of hesitation in reading it, but it's perfectly done, and I wouldn't hesitate to read another! The message you gave it at the end there was absolutely perfect, and really gave it that bit of extra feeling (although there was even plenty of that without it, so really nice job).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much. That means alot to me. I was very nervous about going with the script form but that's my most frequent form (outside the challenge) so I went with it. I'm glad you liked it.

      Delete
  3. Loved the form - so much fun to read a script for a change!

    You dialogue is expertly used... I loved the whole "you're gay" interchange - really bringing out society's use of the word in its negative and natural moments!

    A very bright piece with a strong message. Well done!

    Barbara @ de rebus
    www(dot)derebus(dot)net

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  4. Thank-you to everyone who voted and helped with thie peice I was lucky to take out the Readers choice Award this week AND receive and honorable mention in the Judges choice section. So very excited with this peice.

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  5. On a further update for this piece. It is now in pre production to become a short film.

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