There is the distinct sound of someone throwing up being heard. A door halfway down the hall opens. JEDA MORTENSON, average appearance mid-twenties steps into the hallway wearing only an oversized T-shirt and boyleg briefs. Her hair is tousled and last nights eye make-up has spread around her eyes. She knocks gently on the door across the hall. She is responded to by another loud vomit.
JEDA
Rueben? Are you OK.
RUEBEN
Yes.
Rueben continues to vomit.
JEDA
Can I get you anything.
Jeda opens the door a crack to see RUEBEN MORTENSON, an attractive early twenties male curled on the floor with his head on the edge of the bathtub with one arm hanging in the tub.
RUEBEN
Can you get me a time machine so I can tell the
me last night that though tequila shots was a good
idea that it IS NOT!
JEDA
Yeah sure I’ll just pull one of those out my ass for ya.
Rueben swishes his arm around in the tub.
JEDA (CONT’D)
What are you doing?
RUEBEN
The chunks got stuck in the drain...
Jeda runs to the basin on the other side of the bathroom and empties the contents of her own stomach.
JEDA
You are an evil man.
ANAROSA MENDEZ, a plump short mid forties Spanish woman appears at the door.
ANAROSA
Not again senor Rueben and senorita Jeda.
Why you do this? You leave me clean it up.
RUEBEN
(Clicks his fingers and laughs)
Bitch please. We pay you to clean.
JEDA
(Jokingly)
Rueben mind your bloody manners. Forgive him Anarosa.
ANAROSA
(Continuing the joke)
I forgive him every Saturday and Sunday and he bitch
please me again the next week. I no know why I work for you.
Anarosa storms out in a huff.
RUEBEN
That’s funny I don’t remember eating corn.
JEDA
Rueben your filth.
Jeda lifts her head from the basin and looks in the mirror. Her hair and make up are a mess and she now has vomit on her chin.
JEDA (CONT’D)
How am I still single Rueben.
RUEBEN
Because you’re a ho.
Jeda laughs and throws a face washer at him. Anarosa re-enters with a handsome toned gentleman wearing only his boyleg briefs.
ANAROSA
I find this wandering the hall. I no know who it belong to.
RUEBEN
That’s mine.
Jeda looks the new member of the room up and down.
RUEBEN (CONT’D)
This is Elliot. Elliot that’s Jeda and Anarosa.
Rueben squeezes some toothpaste on his finger and shoves it in his mouth before disappearing out the door with his gentleman. Jeda and Anarosa poke their heads out the door and perve on the visitor as Rueben leads him away.
ANAROSA
If I were your age sweetheart I would climb that hunk of man and...
JEDA
Anarosa stop it he’s gay.
ANAROSA
No he no gay.
JEDA
What do you think he spent the night in my brothers
room doing? Playing boardgames?
ANAROSA
Yes.
2. INT. LIVING ROOM- AFTERNOON
Jeda is flicking through a fashion magazine and Rueben comes up behind her.
RUEBEN
Oh honey you would never pull that off.
He leans over and points to the photo. She grabs his hand and flips him over the couch.
JEDA
Unlike you who would pull anything off.
RUEBEN
You know it.
Anarosa enters the living room with a basket of laundry.
ANAROSA
You two need keep clothes sperate. I no know who stuff is who.
She puts the basket down and holds up a dress looking questioningly at Jeda.
RUEBEN
Nope that’s mine.
Anarosa holds up a football jersey looking at Rueben.
JEDA
Nope that’s mine.
ANAROSA
Dios Mio. You two drive me loco.
The two of them laugh.
RUEBEN
(Sweetly)
Anarosa.
ANAROSA
Si Senor.
RUEBEN
What’s for dinner?
ANAROSA
Stick on a shit.
Rueben and Jeda crack up laughing.
3. INT. HALLWAY- NIGHT TIME
Starting from the floor the camera pans slowly up over a set of heels toned legs the bottom of a dress.
JEDA (O.S.)
Are you wearing that?
RUEBEN (O.S.)
Are you wearing that?
JEDA & RUEBEN
Yes... And?
Camera pans up to see Rueben is the one wearing the dress. The two of them laugh.
JEDA
Let’s go find me a man.
4. EXT. NIGHTCLUB- EVENING
Rueben and Elliot are holding hands and Jeda is further up the line. Three guys approach Rueben and Elliot.
GUY 1
Hey faggots.
RUEBEN
Bitch please their ain’t no faggots here.
Guy 1 pushes Rueben.
ELLIOT
Let’s just walk away.
Elliot is held back by Guy 2. Guy 3 punches Rueben in the face. Jeda notices what is going on and fights the crowd to get back to them. Guy 1 & 2 have pushed Rueben to the ground and are kicking him.
GUY 1
There’s no room for pooftas in this town.
Jeda launches herself throw the air and lands on guy ones back while laying into him with her fist.
JEDA
You’re the only poofta around her.
He pulls her off him and throws her to the ground. She kicks up and hits him in the groin.
5. INT. LOUNGE ROOM- MORNING
Rueben is sitting on the couch bandaged and a bruised Jeda sits in the arm chair watching him.
RUEBEN
Bitch please stop staring at me.
Anarosa enters with some soft drink on a tray.
ANAROSA
You want anything else Senor Rueben.
RUEBEN
What’s for dinner?
ANAROSA
Table under a duck.
JEDA
I think it’s duck under the table.
ANAROSA
How you eat it under the table?
RUEBEN
How about a cookie?
ANAROSA
Si senor.
Anarosa exits. Rueben looks over to see Jeda still staring at him.
RUEBEN
You are creeping me out.
JEDA
I don’t ever want to lose you.
RUEBEN
Nothing’s ever going to happen with you as my bodyguard.
JEDA
Bodyguard?!
RUEBEN
Yeah you kicked the crap out of that guy.
JEDA
Mum always used to say our genders got mixed up.
RUEBEN
It’s only mixed up according to society.
JEDA
It’s so shit. They should go to jail for what they did.
It’s not fair that people treat you like that because...
RUEBEN
Because...?
JEDA
Well you know.
RUEBEN
Because I’m so gay I piss glitter. I cop it all the time sis.
JEDA
Well it’s gay... I mean...
RUEBEN
You’re gay.
JEDA
No you’re gay.
RUEBEN
Yes I am.
6. INT. LIVING ROOM- AFTERNOON
Rueben is propped up by pillows on the couch. Jeda enters from the hallway.
JEDA
Hey Rueben is it OK if I borrow that pink dress of yours?
RUEBEN
I don’t have any pink dresses.
JEDA
Yeah you do.
RUEBEN
No I don’t. But I do have a salmon halterneck,
a fuschia spaghetti strap, that magenta strapless, the
coral A-line, ooh and that cerise gown and my favorite
rose slinky number. But honey you couldn’t pull that off.
JEDA
Um... I think the magenta strapless.
Jeda turns to leave but turns back.
JEDA (CONT’D)
Will you be okay alone if I go out?
RUEBEN
Oh darling I won’t be alone.
ANAROSA (O.S.)
Oh Senorita Jeda your man candy is here.
She enters with an attractive male.
RUEBEN
No Anarosa that one is mine.
JEDA
I don’t get how you can be so upbeat.
RUEBEN
Well honey I look at it this way life can be a big drag,
but I’m a bigger one. Aaaah haaa!!!
7. INT. LIVING ROOM- AFTERNOON
Rueben is now joined by Elliot on the couch and Jeda re-enters in a pink dress.
ELLIOT
Wow honey that looks stunning.
JEDA
Why can’t you talk nice like that to me Rueben.
RUEBEN
Because I’m your brother and that’s weird.
Jeda turns to head towards the door and the heels she is wearing catch on each other and cause her to fall face first to the ground.
RUEBEN (CONT’D)
Why don’t you just wear jeans and sneakers.
JEDA
I have a date.
RUEBEN & ELLIOT
Oooooh.
JEDA
Ha ha you two behave while I’m gone.
RUEBEN
Fat chance of that.
Jeda leaves and Anarosa enters with drinks and a bowl of chips.
ANAROSA
Senor Rueben you must stop teasing me with
such beautiful men.
RUEBEN
Anarosa he’s gay.
ANAROSA
No, no, no.
The two boys kiss and Anarosa’s jaw drops.
RUEBEN
Don’t be upset.
ANAROSA
I no upset. You think your dresses and
shoes no give you away. Just like your
lesbian sister so obvious.
RUEBEN
Jeda’s not gay.
ANAROSA
But she no straight senor. She defend you so much
because she get the same treatment.
RUEBEN
Why wouldn’t she say something?
ANAROSA
After you take off after your parents die she no trust anyone.
Rueben picks up his phone and dials.
RUEBEN
Hey sis. Sorry I been a dick lately.
He talks for a moment and hangs up.
ELLIOT
What did she say?
RUEBEN
She told me to put the bin out.
ELLIOT
And...?
RUEBEN
That she was planning on getting lucky so to not wait up.
The Challenge to write a Comedy in 1500 words
form open
Word count 1488
Seems there were a few of us that had some commentary on homophobia this week. Nicely done. I love both Rueben and Jeda.
ReplyDeleteI also noticed the homophobia theme this week. :D
DeleteThank you for your compliements.
Very nicely done! Had me laughing all the way through! I love those two as well, and the comedy is done very nicely, probably my favourite entry this week!
ReplyDeleteThe script styling of it is nicely done, makes a great use of the word count. It did kinda give me a bit of hesitation in reading it, but it's perfectly done, and I wouldn't hesitate to read another! The message you gave it at the end there was absolutely perfect, and really gave it that bit of extra feeling (although there was even plenty of that without it, so really nice job).
Thank you so much. That means alot to me. I was very nervous about going with the script form but that's my most frequent form (outside the challenge) so I went with it. I'm glad you liked it.
DeleteLoved the form - so much fun to read a script for a change!
ReplyDeleteYou dialogue is expertly used... I loved the whole "you're gay" interchange - really bringing out society's use of the word in its negative and natural moments!
A very bright piece with a strong message. Well done!
Barbara @ de rebus
www(dot)derebus(dot)net
Thank-you to everyone who voted and helped with thie peice I was lucky to take out the Readers choice Award this week AND receive and honorable mention in the Judges choice section. So very excited with this peice.
ReplyDeleteOn a further update for this piece. It is now in pre production to become a short film.
ReplyDelete