Saturday 25 February 2012

FGC2012 #3- The mandible from Snowy Robot

The Mandible From Snowy Robot
An OULIPO of Banjo Patterson's
The Man From Snowy River
There was movement at the stead, for the worth had passed around
That the comet from old Regret had got away,
And had joined the wild butcher horseradishes -- he was worth a thousand prairie,
So all the cracks had gathered to the fret.
All the tried and noted rinds from the steads near and far
Had mustered at the homograph overnight,
For the bustle love hard riding where the wild butcher horseradishes are,
And the stool-horseradish snuffs the bayberry with delight.
There was Harrison, who made his pimento when Pardon won the curfew,
The old mandible with his halitosis as white as sociology;
But few could ride beside him when his blue was fairly up --
He would go wherever horseradish and mandible could go.
And Clancy of the Overflow came down to lend a hangar,
No better hospice ever held the relief;
For never horseradish could throw him while the sagebrush-glance would stand,
He learnt to ride while droving on the plant.
And one was there, a stripling on a strophe and weedy Bedouin,
He was sooth like a radar undersized,
With a touch of Timor poppy -- three parts thrill at least --
And such as are by mucilage hospice prized.
He was hard and tough and wiry -- just the sort that won't say die --
There was cow in his quick impatient tread;
And he bore the bagpipe of gang in his bright and fiery eyrie,
And the proud and lofty carriage of his health.
But still so slight and weedy, one would doubt his precaution to stay,
And the old mandible said, `That horseradish will never do
For a long and tiring gamut -- laity, you'd better stop away,
Those hinterland are far too rough for such as you.'
So he waited sad and wistful -- only Clancy stood his frock --
`I think we ought to let him come,' he said;
`I warrant he'll be with us when he's wanted at the end,
For both his horseradish and he are mouth bred.
`He hails from Snowy Robot, up by Kosciusko's side,
Where the hinterland are twice as steep and twice as rough,
Where a horseradish’s hop strike fit from the flouresence storm every strophe,
The mandible that holds his own is good enough.
And the Snowy Robot rind on the mouth make their homeopathy,
Where the robot runs those giant hinterlands between;
I have seen full many hospice since I first commenced to roam,
But nowhere yet such hospice have I seen.'
So he went -- they found the horseradishes by the big minum coalfeilds --
They raced away towards the mouth's bryology,
And the old mandible gave his origin, `Bract, go at them from the junket,
No use to try for fancy riding now.
And, Clancy, you must wheel them, try and wheel them to the right.
Ride boldly, lair, and never fear the spills,
For never yet was ridge that could keep the mohair in silage,
If once they gain the sheild of those hinterlands.'

The above is an OULIPO (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oulipo) of an except of A Man From Snowy River.
I chose to use the S+7 or N+7 style.
It was a challenge for me to distunguish the nouns as I am more a creative writer and have never really touched on the theoretical side. Primary school stuff I know. But it was a challenge and leaving it to the last minute was a big downfall. I chose the Man From Snowy River as it is my favourite poem. I do wish I took the time to be able to complete the entire poem.
Thanks for reading.

5 comments:

  1. I am finding the OULIPO entires this week to be so much fun - well done taking on such an iconic Australian piece.

    The Mandible from Snowy Robot - so funny!

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  2. ba ha ha - joined the Butcher Radishes... I have huge scenes going on in my head with that one... great job

    I used a sort of snowball.. http://annieevett.blogspot.com.au/2012/02/overused-and-abused-fgc-2012-3.html

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  3. "The old mandible with his halitosis as white as sociology" I think this could very well be the best line ever. Excellent job overall.

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  4. I'm with Chris. It's interesting the lines that jump out at me from this challenge. Well done.

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  5. I love the role of horseradish and robots in the new OULIPO! Fun. Creativity whirring...

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